Burnout

It’s been a while since I blogged.  Actually, I’ve been struggling. 

Let me tell you part of my problem.  Therapists, psychologists and pastors refer to it as burnout.  I think I’ve been battling a mild case.  The good news is, after twenty-five years of being a pastor; I think I’m fairly self-aware.  I can see and feel the signs, normally a few days or weeks or months after my wife does.  (I said I was fairly self aware, not keenly self aware.)

I don’t think as clearly or creatively.  I’m distracted easily.  I’ll start a sentence and lose my train of… uh… thought.  I have less patience with myself and pretty much everybody else too.  I become short tempered, impatient, frustrated and tired… very tired… the tired when you wake up in the morning kind of tired.   

I vaguely recall my first bout with burnout when I was still a young pastor.  My response to the above list of symptoms was different then.  First, I felt guilty.  Then I confessed sins; all the sins I could think of.  I even made up some sins to confess.  But it didn’t help.  I determined to work harder, dig deeper.  But when I dug deeper there was nothing there.  When you dip out of an empty well, you come up empty.  I was empty.  Maybe you can relate.   

These days I follow a different treatment plan.  I go fishing.  Of course, fishing is not all I do.  I also sleep a lot.  There’s no agenda.  I just step off of the spinning wheel.  When I do, time slows, my mind clears and, without trying harder to do it, I commune with God. 

I was reading a book by Lauren Winner entitled

Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis.  Lauren retells an ancient legend about a monk who was disappointed with his spiritual development.  He thought he should feel closer to God.  So he goes to three different spiritual advisors who all give him the same advice.  “Go back to your cave.  Pray as you usually pray.  Drink when you are thirsty.  Eat when you are hungry.  Sleep when you are tired.”

I think there is a distinctly Western way of thinking, a way our minds are programmed, that tells us the solution to every problem is to do more.  If you’re doing poorly in school, study more.  If you’re not making enough money, work more.  If you’re dissatisfied with your social life, date more.  If you don’t like the way your body looks, work out more.  If you don’t feel close to God, do more; pray more, read the Bible more, give more, serve more.

Probably my favorite words from the lips of Jesus are found in the gospel of Matthew (11:28-30).  I like Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of the verses. 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Do you connect with this passage at a deep, intuitive level?  Does it create a longing inside; a longing to experience rest?  Does it conflict with another intuitive drive, a drive to do more; an internalized message that doing more will somehow make fatigue better instead of making it worse?

If so, maybe the lesson to be learned is the one I’m still learning.  Instead of combating burnout by doing more, combat it by doing less.  Listen to Jesus!  (Followers of Jesus do more than proclaim that Jesus is the Way.  They follow the Way of Jesus.)  Stop!  Get off the spinning wheel!  Go fishing!  Sleep a lot!  Get away with Jesus and recover your life.

Christus Victor

On Sunday March 10th we will begin a new series of sermons at the church I serve. (zoarchurch.com)  The title of the series is "The Cross: what really happened when Jesus died."  This is a video blog to invite discussion about the first of those sermons; the ancient "atonement theory" called Christus Victor (Victorious Christ).  The idea is that on the cross, through the death and subsequent resurrection of Jesus Christ, God won the victory over the forces of evil.  Anyway, if you would like, take a quick look at the video and feel free to offer comments or questions.

Dental Clinic and Clothes Closet

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father… for I needed clothes and you clothed me.  I needed my teeth filled and you filled them for me…’  Then they will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you needing clothes and clothed you or needing your teeth filled and filled them for you?’  The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine you did for me.’” (Matthew 25:31-40 paraphrased)

I know… I know… I’m taking some liberties with the Holy Scriptures.  Some may be offended but, in my opinion, the paraphrase is true to the original intent of the speaker; who, by the way, was Jesus.  And, in my opinion, he is delighted; not so much with my loose translation, but with what is happening outside my office right now… right now as I’m writing.

Once a year our church sponsors a dental clinic.  The Baptist State Convention provides a bus that houses two dental offices.  Along with lots of other volunteers, dentists and dental hygienists from our community give their time and talent so that people can receive dental care free of charge.  The clinic is going on right now.  Over the course of the next two days, around 100 patients will receive dental care! 

While they are here, the patients can also walk through our clothing room and pick out what they need, also free of charge.  The people who come here to receive this service are treated with respect and dignity.  They have the opportunity to talk to people who will listen to them and pray with them – really listen and really pray!

It may sound like I’m bragging on our people a little bit… Okay, I am bragging on our people a little bit.  But, in my defense, I think I have a good reason.   

I know that the Christian community gets a lot of bad press these days.  (A couple weeks ago I wrote about "Bad Press for Preachers.”)  I know that some of that bad press is deserved.  Some people who claim the name of Jesus can be crude and cruel, rude and ruthless.  Some vent their hatred and call it “standing up for the truth.”  Some attack others and call it “righteous indignation.” 

I want to say as clearly as I can that those people do not represent Jesus Christ!  Let me say it again.  Those who hurt others in the name of Jesus are not speaking for Jesus, they are speaking against him!  They are not representing the Jesus we read about in the gospels.  They represent some kind of misguided and distorted religious expression but it is not Christianity.  It is not the movement that Jesus launched 2000 years ago.   

So if you are outside of the Christian community maybe you have a good reason.  Maybe you have been burned by a form of religion that claims the name of Jesus but does not reflect his heart.  If so, I hope you can see the other side of the coin.  I hope you can see followers of Jesus actually following Jesus.  I hope you can see that there are many people who not only claim that Jesus is the Way, they actually follow the Way of Jesus!

The Heart of Jesus

“im going to church is fun and u go to learn about god and jesuse.” 

That’s a “sentence” that was posted on my friend’s facebook page last Wednesday night.  My friend is an eleven year old boy who’s growing up in really challenging circumstances.  His mom is trying hard to help him and his siblings break the cycle of family dysfunction.  She has a big job.

My friend (I’ll call him Douglas) was introduced to our church through a tutoring ministry we sponsor in his neighborhood.  He was instantly drawn to the volunteers who were genuinely kind and interested in him.  So naturally, getting tutored led to more.  He and his family requested transportation to our worship services on Sunday morning.  Which naturally led to more.  He and his family requested transportation to our Wednesday night activities which include a good meal and classes for all ages. 

And so last Wednesday night, after he got home, Douglas posted “im going to church is fun and u go to learn about god and jesuse.”

I write about this because I believe what our church is doing for Douglas and his family reflects the very heart of Jesus. 

The Jesus biographers (the writers of the four gospels) tell us that people were bringing children to Jesus so that he could touch them and bless them.  In the ancient world children were not considered to be very valuable, or even noticed by adults, until they were old enough to become productive workers.  (I think sometimes the same thing happens in our world.)  So the disciples were discouraging these people (probably mothers) from bringing their children to Jesus.  Surely the Messiah wouldn’t want to be bothered with the little disease carriers. It would be like the president ditching a Cabinet meeting to baby sit his sister’s kid.

The Bible says that when Jesus saw the disciples turning children away “he was indignant and he said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’  And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.”   (Mark 10:13-16)

 

This is the heart of Jesus.

The gospel writer Matthew says that Jesus once looked out over the crowds of people and “he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’”  (Matthew 10:36-38)

This is the heart of Jesus.

The gospel writer Luke records one of the first speeches Jesus gave.  It would be kind of like a politician publically outlining his agenda for the first time.  Jesus said, “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”  (Luke 4:18-19)

This is the heart of Jesus.

In another important speech Jesus said… “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.  Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied.  Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”  (Luke 6:20-21)

This is the heart of Jesus.

Sometimes some well meaning person will ask me why our church’s vision is to see our city transformed as we become more like Jesus and lead others to him.  Shouldn’t we be focused on “the church family?”  Sometimes someone will “correct” me by telling me that my primary job is to care for “the flock.”  Which begs the question, who does Jesus consider his flock?  Remember, Jesus looked out on the crowd and thought of them as his flock… his responsibility… his disciple’s responsibility.

So I tell people my job is to make sure the heart of the church is like the heart of Jesus.

By the way, Douglas and his brother and sisters will be baptized as followers of Jesus Christ next month.  I think they will be baptized, at least in part, because our church has a heart like Jesus.

Trying To Understand "Belief" and "Trust"

I’ve blogged about “Belief” before. (Can I Force Myself To Believe?)  Lots of other people have too.

I guess we could read from now on and write from now on and still not really understand fully the ancient Biblical concept of belief. 

Here’s one more attempt during a recent sermon.

If you would like to have a serious conversation about belief in Jesus Christ, please feel free to contact me. rob@zoarchurch.com

Bad Press for Preachers

This morning I felt a familiar feeling as I watched the morning news.  One of the leading stories was about Arthur Schirmer, a Pennsylvania pastor charged with murdering two wives.  When I heard the word pastor, that’s when I got the feeling. 

I want to be really clear.  This is a tragic set of circumstances and, if proven guilty, pastor Schirmer should be punished.  When human beings commit evil acts the public should be informed and justice should be done. 

But this morning as I watched the video (repeated somewhere between six and ten times) of Schirmer in handcuffs being led from his home to a waiting police transport, as I heard the news reporter strongly accent both syllables in the word “pastor,” I still got the feeling.  I guess I would describe it as cross between irritation and grief mixed with a little bit of nausea. 

Maybe it goes back to the early days of my ministry when I was the pastor of my first church.  It was the mid 1980’s and the church was a small congregation in the north end of Mecklenburg County, NC.  I was pastoring the church, commuting sixty miles one way to college and working side jobs to make ends meet, when the Jim Baker scandal broke.  You may remember it.

Jim Baker was the head of the PTL (Praise The Lord) empire based just inside the South Carolina line, not very far from my little church.  He went to prison after bilking millions from his TV parishioners and having an affair with a ministry employee.  I remember driving back from Charlotte one night after visiting someone in the hospital. 

My car was a 1970 something, nauseating brown Ford station wagon that I bought from another pastor for $75.00.  (Yes, I’m that old.)  The front was damaged from a previous encounter with a deer. I had to pull the grill out with a crow bar and tie the head light in place with wire.  It was a real peach!     

So I’m heading up the interstate in my station wagon with no air conditioner listening to one of the many radio talk show hosts waxing eloquent about Jim Baker, Jimmy Swagart, Robert Tilton and a few others.  (By the way, how would you like to be a preacher named Robert Helton when Robert Tilton was on the air.  Can you guess what nick name my fellow co-eds gave me?)

The thing about this particular radio personality was that he made it sound (unintentionally I’m sure) like all preachers are basically cut from the same cloth.  Driving back from praying with a sick person I found myself included in the list of preachers gone wild.  Suddenly I was being lumped into a pile of reprobates and charlatans.  And that’s when I got the feeling the first time.  I almost had to pull the nauseating brown station wagon over and… well… you know.

So I think that there needs to be a little balance brought to the media’s portrayal of clergy.  I want to respectfully point out that for every bad preacher on the six o’clock news there’s another thousand or so actually doing what preachers are supposed to do.  Those preachers don’t get much media attention.

I know a youth pastor who helps kids learn what it means to seriously follow Jesus, who stays awake all night for lock-ins (a long standing youth ministry tradition) and organizes a tutoring ministry for children who fall through the cracks.  I know a pastor who regularly visits home bound seniors, who prays with them and makes them laugh.  I know a pastor who visits men in the jail, prays with them and reads passages of scripture.  I know a pastor who helps homeless people feel like real human beings when she spends time with them listening to their stories and sharing their sorrows. 

The list could go on and on.  Maybe it’s inappropriate for me to brag on pastors since I am one, but I thought it might be helpful to bring a little balance to the media coverage.

One Perspective on Gun Control

In the wake of the tragic shooting in Connecticut, renewed rhetoric is already swirling about gun control (from both sides).  Sometimes one way to reflect on a topic – especially a controversial topic – is to tell a story.

Note:  If you worshiped with the Zoar Church family this past Sunday you have heard the story already.  You may want to skip to the observations.

This story is about a fifth century monk named Telemachus.  Although versions of it vary somewhat, church historians tell us that the account is quite reliable.  It was first recorded by Theodoret, Bishop of Cyrrhus in Syria (393-457 A.D.). You may have heard it.  In 1984 Ronald Reagan told it to the group gathered at the Annual National Day of Prayer Breakfast in Washington D.C.

Telemachus was a young man who had pursued all the pleasures the world had to offer and came up empty.  One day he had a vision of Jesus Christ and became one of his followers.  He joined the Jesus movement.

He took up residence in a monastery and lived there for awhile.  But, according to Theodoret, he had another vision of Christ, this time telling him to go to Rome.  The day he entered the capital city of the Roman Empire there was a great commotion.  The Romans were celebrating a recent military victory over the Goths and the streets were full of people.

Without even realizing what was happening, Telemachus was swept into the seating area of the Roman Coliseum.  From where he sat he could see the Emperor, Honorius, in his box seat.  Then Telemachus saw the gladiators run into the stadium, line up before the emperor and give the traditional pledge; “we who are about to die, salute you!”

Suddenly Telemachus knew exactly what was happening.  Soon the gladiators were engaged in hand to hand combat.  With every clash of metal to metal Telemachus winced.  With every bloodletting gash he grieved.  Human beings, created in the image of God, were profaning God and wasting human life in a blood sport designed to satisfy a blood thirsty crowd.  What he saw he could not bear.  So he responded the only way he knew to respond.  

He began shouting, “In the name of Jesus, stop! In the name of Jesus, stop!”  The roar of the crowd made his shouts pointless, so almost without thinking he made his way down to the wall that stood between the crowd and mortal danger.  He cried out, “In the name of Jesus, stop!”  No response.

Then, in and act perhaps more out of love and desperation than courage, he jumped over the wall and onto the field.  He ran toward the gladiators shouting, “In the name of Jesus, stop!”     

Finally the crowd noticed this little monk running around yelling something and, in an effort to hear what he was saying, grew silent.  And then everybody heard – the crowd, the gladiators, the emperor – “In the name of Jesus, stop!” 

For a brief moment there was silence.  Then the silence turned to laughter.  Then the laughter turned to anger at a monk who would dare interrupt their sport.  Telemachus just kept up his sermon.  “In the name of Jesus, stop!”  He was between two gladiators now repeating the refrain, “In the name of Jesus, stop!” 

The gladiators seemed to take their cue from the blood thirsty crowd.  One swung his sword at the monk just missing.  The crowd roared!  And then another gladiator did not miss.  He ran his sword through the little monk, pinning his jerking body to the ground.  The ground turned bright red as the monk’s blood soaked the sand at the feet of his executioner.  Telemachus drew his last breath while his voice still echoed off the coliseum walls.  “In the name of Jesus, stop!” 

Then something strange happened.  The crowd did not applaud or roar with laughter.  In fact, the crowd grew completely silent.  The story goes that, one by one, the citizens of Rome began to walk out of the coliseum.  After a long silent procession the theater was empty.  The emperor watched in amazement, and then he too turned and walked out.  The gladiators stood silently over the lifeless body of a little monk named Telemachus until the doors opened and they were allowed to leave.  Then they dropped their weapons, turned and walked out.

In 404 A.D. the Roman Emperor Honorius issued an edict forbidding gladiator combat in the West.  The story goes that the edict was issued shortly after a little monk died shouting, “In the name of Jesus, stop!”

So what does that story have to do with gun control?  The answer is nothing… unless you consider yourself a follower of Jesus.  But if you are a Jesus follower the story reminds you how to respond to violence and the attempts to control it.

In my opinion, here’s the central truth.  Ultimately, people with weapons don’t stop people with weapons.  People with Jesus do.  Ultimately, people with gun control laws don’t stop people with weapons.  People with Jesus do.

Nonviolent resistance (one of the teachings of Jesus) has historically been more effective at combating violence than any other approach.  By the way, I wonder what would happen to the weapon manufacturing industry if every person who claimed to be a Christian stopped buying them.  While respecting our right to bear arms, I just wonder what possible reason a follower of Jesus would have for owning an instrument designed to take the life of another human being (unless he or she really enjoys pretty serious target practice).

Bottom line, from people like Stephen (who died praying for those who stoned him) to Telemachus to Martin Luther King Jr., those with Jesus in their hearts and on their lips are more powerful than those with weapons in their hands.