In
my collection of what I call "keeper books" I have a C.S. Lewis
section, and one of the books in that section is entitled "The Problem of
Pain."
Here's
the problem with pain. Pain is powerful. Nothing in the world
captures my attention like my pain does. If I hit my thumb with a hammer it is
virtually impossible to care about the cute thing my grandson said or the
beauty of a bird's song. When my thumb
is throbbing, I want both of them to be quiet!
Pain
demands my full devotion. Pain commands
my complete allegiance. When I'm hurting,
I can't think about anything else.
Right
now, I'm feeling some pretty powerful pain. Right now, the pain is acute. If I were in the doctor's office and had to
rate my pain on the chart with the little faces on it, I would point to the
face with the tears. Maybe you can relate.
Some
people live with chronic pain. If you’re
one of those people I can’t begin to say I know how you feel. My pain is not physical. My pain comes from a different place.
Heart
pain is the worst! It's virtually
impossible to medicate.
My
mother lives with chronic pain for which she consumes a lot of pills, but eventually
the pills lose their potency and the pain is still there.
There
is no pill strong enough to take the edge off of heart pain. Lots of people have
tried.
I
think the only thing you can do with heart pain is share it. Talk about it. Try to convert it into words and breathe them
into somebody's ear.
I
guess that's what I'm doing with this blog… regurgitating my pain. I don't have to tell you why I'm hurting. Right now, it's enough just to tell you that I
am.
I
guess that's part of what we do when we pray. Prayer is, in part, converting our pain into
words and breathing them into the ears of God.
I
can't promise that the pain will go away, at least not immediately. I can only tell you
what I tell myself… over and over again. The one who the prophet Isaiah claims
"bore our pain and took up our sufferings," is anxious to listen.
Thank you for the words that expresses the pain, and how it only grows when we attempt to hide it or cover it with a smile. "Just a little talk with Jesus." Best place to start. Prayers for you.
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