Part of the Problem

What do you do when you realize that you’re part of the problem?

A while back I was scrolling through my Twitter feed, reading all the 140-character bits of “wisdom” (back when they were still 140 characters) written mostly by people who think like me.  It always makes me feel good when people think like me.

But then it happened.  Suddenly I found myself reading through the eyes of a good friend of mine, a good friend who disagrees with most of my tweets.  And I could see that the tweets were doing little to change my friend’s mind.  Not only that, my tweets were only stressing our friendship, making our interactions more tense and less productive.    

So, I took some time off from tweeting and blogging and posting; time for prayerful reflection.  I wanted to be able to discuss the topics I’m passionate about without alienating people who passionately disagree with me.  I wanted to learn to be part of the solution instead of being part of the problem.

After some time for reflection I’ve decided on a couple personal guidelines.

1.      Whenever possible, my interactions should be in person instead of online; in the form of conversations, instead of tweets.

 

Recently, I spent a long evening with my friend.  We shared a good meal.  We had a long and thoughtful conversation.  He shared his opinions and I shared mine.  He had great insights and articulated them skillfully.  I was able to understand his perspectives better and compelled to rethink some of mine.  I can’t say that we changed each other’s minds but, more importantly, our friendship remains intact.  Actually, I think our friendship is stronger than ever.  Maybe if we met our opponents at a restaurant instead of on Facebook we would be better off.      

2.       Assume the best in others, especially those with whom I disagree.

I talked about all this in a recent Questioning Christianity podcast (pardon the plug).  I believe Jesus taught enemy love and non-violence, and that he refused to use warfare to accomplish his purposes.  But I can assume the best of those who also follow the teachings of Jesus but believe that war is sometimes necessary.  I’m a pro-life advocate.  But I can assume the best of my pro-choice friends who also care about human beings.  I believe that the lives of those on death row are also sacred and should be protected.  And I can assume the best of those who believe in capital punishment.  If I can assume the best of others, maybe they can assume the best of me.  Maybe my just war friends can assume I’m not unpatriotic and maybe my pro-choice friends can assume I also care for women dealing with unwanted pregnancies and my capital punishment friends can assume that I care about justice and public safety.  

 So, I’m back online, but hopefully as part of the solution instead of the problem.